Plan B » Advice Please!

needtosay · 9/29/2016 11:01 am

I am at my witts end. I have many friends who are Trump supporters. One friend in particular is also a facebook friend and she has a very obvious dislike for Hillary Clinton. She posts the most ridiculous, hateful anti Hillary posts. They are so ridiculous that I find it very difficult to just ignore. Since we are friends off of facebook too this is causing some tension. I try to be polite when I reply to her posts and I don't attack her on a personal level. I just correct the things she says or promotes through memes. She posts things that are blatant lies and I try to just ignore he posts and not reply but sometimes I just can't help it. Most recently she posted that all Hillary Supporters are voting for her because they want to be part of History by putting a woman into the white house. I replied that it wasn't true and explained that Hillary voters are a diverse group of people who have individual reasons for voting for Hillary. She testily replied that she didn't make the post to argue with one individual (that would be me). I wasn't trying to be argumentative either but just wanted readers to understand that not everyone is voting for Hillary because she is woman. This friend frequently post things about Hillary supporters that are derogatory which for along time I have been ignoring. How do you all handle it when social media friends express ignorant views on the presidential race or against the candidate of your choice?

teluog · 9/29/2016 5:16 pm

My family members do the same all the time! When I voiced my opinion, one of them unfriended me, I basically just ignore them, some people can't stand anyone's opinion but their own. It is irritating but they don't know any better!

Spunky · 9/29/2016 5:25 pm

Hi Need...I'm in a similar situation.... I have neighbors that don't drive anymore, due to age and many ailments...but I help them out whenever I can, with food shopping and going to dr's appts. and to vote.

They are both republicans...I am an Indy.. It took me awhile to make my decision (one of the many undecideds).. Anyway after the exposure that we have all received in this election cycle, to the craziness of DT.....I finally made my decision..to NOT vote for him.

My problem is with their decision to vote for DT...not because they agree with him..or because they think his ideas are right, or simply because they like him....but because its what the "party" dictates that they do. I couldn't believe it when they told me...How could intelligent people choose to vote a certain way because of "party"....its incomprehensible!!!

So I told them that I would call senior centers in my area to see if someone would come to drive them to vote on election day. This is too important. I just can't do it anymore..

I have always driven them...but on this, I'm standing firm -- not doing it. I can't change their minds...I won't even try to...and I know that they are trying to understand my refusal to take them, but they don't. I didn't want to argue with them, or hurt their feelings, and I am really saddened about it because I love them.

In your case Need...you can unfriend her on facebook...I don't think FB tells someone that so and so unfriended them.

NESunrise · 9/29/2016 6:00 pm

I made it my policy to ignore all political stuff on FB. Some people who are "friends" are olderly and since my weirdo group includes 20 something's to 80 something's they are a mixed bag and some are rabid political posters. I bite my tongue, duct tape my typing hands and scroll on.

zeke · 9/29/2016 8:59 pm

Hi need. I ended a friendship because I simply can't handle these folks anymore. I think if one is stupid, racist, or ignorant enough to vote for Trump, then there is no reason to be friends. This is not on FB but face to face. And Spunky, I won't drive anyone who I know will vote for Trump. They can get there on their own or not at all.

esm · 9/30/2016 6:05 am

I guess Id evaluate whether their friendship mattered enough to me that if it were not for this ridiculous election I'd want to be friends. I so, try to ignore and and scroll on till December!

Vantro · 9/30/2016 7:46 am

I have lost a lot of friends during this last year. They support Trump, but that is just one part of the my decision to end the friendships. What I found is that those who support Trump are just as bad or worse than Trump himself! Ask yourselves if you wish to be friends with ppl who support an obvious liar who is willing treat Muslims, women, the disabled, ppl of color & the poor as second class citizens whom are not worthy of a voice, equality or the American dream? I chose not to surround myself with such egocentrics. Maybe I could have continued some type of friendship with these ppl, but they literally told me that they do not care about facts. Whaaaat? When I asked a friend why they hate(tons of hate) Hillary they said, "I don't know. I just have a feeling". A "feeling"? Are they flippin' serious? Oh the hateful tone smh. No ty! So there it is. I cannot be friends with ppl who are bigots & conscientiously choose to be ignorant to facts & reality because they prefer their "feelings". I don't feel bad about it either. Rather happy & proud.

Spunky · 9/30/2016 9:15 am

Great post Vantro! And great advice..

I'm not going to feel guilty about my decision....you're right...I'd rather not have people that treat others like that in my life.

I don't want to be friends with people who support an obvious liar who is willing to treat Muslims, women, the disabled, people of color , Gold Star families & the poor as second class citizens whom are not worthy of a voice, equality or the American dream.

When you allow the bullies to have a stage in the negativity...and say nothing...you are just as bad as they are.

I'm happy and proud too!

needtosay · 9/30/2016 10:33 am

Thanks for the responses. I think my problem is that I am friends in real life with this couple. I did block her husband because he got very nasty with me and called me stupid. This woman doesn't do that but she does accuse me of picking fights with her which is not my intention. I just can't let the rabid lies stand. I have tried just ignoring her posts but then they get so ridiculous that I just can't ignore anymore. When we see each other in person we really don't talk about politics much and get along well so until we became facebook friends I didn't realize the depth of their racism and bigotry. The things they post are not just about Hillary Clinton but also about immigration and race relations. It just gets to be too much at times. I haven't seen them in a while now so I know it will be awkward when we do see each other again. I don't know maybe the answer is to block her as well and save myself the aggravation.

esm · 9/30/2016 11:03 am

I would just not be friends with them. I don't have racist bigoted friends.

Sam · 9/30/2016 11:54 am

I have had the same problem on FB. I try to ignore the comments but no longer can. I just unfollow them on FB not unfriend. I read somewhere that by unfollowing them, they can not tell, whereas if you unfriend them, they will know. Not sure if it's true, as I am technically challenged.

So proud of you Spunky for telling them they need to find their own ride to vote! I feel like many people who say they support Trump, don't actually vote. Sure hope that's true..

Sam · 9/30/2016 11:56 am

esm wrote:
I would just not be friends with them. I don't have racist bigoted friends.

I don't either esm. But I do have some family members who are blindly Republican. It is hard to unfriend family.

Vantro · 9/30/2016 5:09 pm

Need I guess I should have clarified that those I ended friendships with were ppl in my real life, including a family member. I can no longer bite my tongue, nor should I when ppl are being blatantly racist or bigoted. Pretwnding my friends are good ppl just doesn't cut it anymore. Especially in today's crazy "say whatever you feel" stupidity & hate. I need to be the change i want to see in the world. Right?

zeke · 10/01/2016 2:51 pm

need.....I might be older than you but I decided a while ago that I would not allow some people in my life if they left me feeling sad, bad, or ugly after exchanges with them. (and I mean in person, I am not on FB). This includes family members. With some family I just leave lots of space in order to not cause controversy.
I do not miss the people I have eliminated. In fact, I feel pretty good.
It also leaves open the opportunity to meet new people.

snapzz · 10/01/2016 3:14 pm

Just let it go

Sam · 10/01/2016 6:56 pm

snapzz wrote:
Just let it go

Great advice snap!

snapzz · 10/02/2016 10:31 am

Sam wrote:
snapzz wrote:
Just let it go
Great advice snap!

************************
Hi Sam
that's what I had to do, because there is not talking to his supporter, they just refused to see it so I just stop, and let them say what they want. I know they will not change my mine, and it don't look like they wanted to change there mind so I just let it go.