Yesterday, ‘Round Noon (Ottawa Time)
[Ring Ring!]Abe: Hello?Trudeau: Prime Minister Abe, hello! Prime Minister Trudeau here.Abe: Justin! Sup?Trudeau: I gotta vent with you for a minute about this Trump guy, eh.Abe: Did he try to rip your hand off, too?Trudeau: He tried, but I grabbed his arm and hung on for dear life. It was like riding a mechanical bull.Abe: No kidding. I’ve got two dozen acupuncture needles in my shoulder as we speak.   Trudeau: And how 'bout that "grand feast" of iceberg lettuce drowning in Bleu cheese dressing.Abe: It was watered-down dressing. Who waters down salad dressing?!Trudeau: I miss Obama.Abe: You're always master of the understatement. Ha Ha.Trudeau: Hey, does Trump really cheat at golf?Abe: Let me put it this way---I wasn't sure if he was playing golf or soccer.Trudeau: [Laughs] So you let him win?Abe: Of course. He's a revenge guy. Did you see how he was letting Mar-A-Lago guests push random buttons on the nuclear football? [long pause] Hello? Justin, you still there?Trudeau: You're kidding…right?Abe: Ha ha, yes. He only lets guests pose for pictures with the football.Trudeau: So what are we gonna do aboot this incompetent nutball, eh?Abe: Smile and nod, my friend. Smile and nod. And don't talk about anything you don't want Putin to hear. It all gets back to him.Trump: You're damn right it does!Trudeau: President Trump?Trump: Oops. [Click]Abe: [Sigh] Gonna be a long four years, Mr. Prime Minister.Trudeau: You said a mouthful of poutine, Mr. Prime Minister.