Everybody (except the Cuckoos) knows that Donny-T hates his job, but won’t resign unless he can come up with a face-saving reason for leaving.

In the spirit of speeding him on his way, let’s help with some suggestions.


“I hereby resign the prezidensy because …”


… I’m weigh 2 smart for this job, like bigly two smart.”

… I’ve accomplished so much in seven months, there’s really nothing left for me to do.”

… my golfing buddies are pissed-off that I’m only free to spend 90% of the time I used to on the links.”

… Melania is begging me to spend more ‘intimate alone time’ with her.”

… I’ve done all I can for my BFFE, Putie-Poot - it's time for him to stand on his own two feet.”

… the KKK is looking for a new Grand Wizard – therefore, a higher duty calls me.”

… Ivanka and Jared have to ‘take vacations’ to avoid the media every time I fuck-up. I hardly ever see them anymore, and I miss them.”

… other world leaders are too intimidated by my awesomeness to take me seriously.”

… I’m too tasteful to live in this ‘dump’ of a White House.”

… being the leader of the free world is waaay too easy – I need a challenge.”

… the manufacturing jobs I’ve outsourced to low-wage countries requires my 24/7 oversight.”

… my once-successful Trump University has gone to shit without my hands-on, day-to-day guidance.”

… Obama IS still wire-tapping me, and I refuse to work under these conditions.”

… the ‘fake news’ won’t get off my back with their facts and statistics bullshit.”

… those god-damned 'leakers' keep telling people the truth. Enuf already.”

… I understand that my son Barron – I think that’s his name – needs a full-time ‘dad’ to teach him how to be a pussy-grabber.”

… pretending to be human is taking its toll on my ability to govern effectively.”

… no one appreciates the brilliance of my covfefe.”


Please add your own suggestions!

Last edited by DollyLongstaff (9/03/2017 3:39 pm)