1 of 1- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline 
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
"Grand Wizard" Donald Trump had to give up some very important ZZZZZZZ Executive Time yesterday, so that a doctor at Walter Reed may examine his meat folds and his shithole and find out if his cheeseburger-filled body is still capable of presidenting, or if it’s past its sell-by date.
That’s right, he had a physical! And it better go well, because Trump, who is not at all insane, says the stock market will crash if the doctor’s report says his body is disgusting.
Why is this necessary, since Trump obviously has the most perfect body of all the bodies, as his “doctor” kept telling us during the campaign.
Trump is the healthiest person ever to hold the Oval Office! Good thing we didn’t elect Hillary Clinton, because as we also learned during the campaign, Hillary is liable to stub her toe and die at any time.
Last edited by DollyLongstaff (1/13/2018 8:59 am)
Back with a vengeance possums!
- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
GQ has a list of questions Americans would like answers to about Trump’s health, like for instance why does Trump’s doctor always reassure people that Trump’s up to date on his latest HIV tests?
Does he bareback a lot with people that aren’t his wife, and just wants us all to know everything’s good with that?
Last edited by DollyLongstaff (1/13/2018 9:00 am)
Back with a vengeance possums!
- •
Thread Starter- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Another question: Is the president fat?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Last edited by DollyLongstaff (1/13/2018 9:01 am)
Back with a vengeance possums!
- •
Thread Starter- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
The doctor, White House physician Ronny Jackson, also checked all the normal stuff like “does Trump have a heart” and “is his blood warm,” and of course, he had to pee in a cup. (BETTER HOPE AIN’T NO RUSSIAN CAMERAS IN THE PEE PEE ROOM, DONALD!)
And, since a 71-year-old man definitely needs to get his prostate checked, poor Dr. Ronny ( Or is it Ronnie? Hope Hicks doesn't seem to know how to spell the good doctor's name) had to fool around in and around the president’s very bad shithole.
Last edited by DollyLongstaff (1/13/2018 9:10 am)
Back with a vengeance possums!
- •
Thread Starter- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
They unfortunately did not examine his brain, because Trump says he has a very good brain and if Trump says he has a very good brain that means it’s not necessary for the doctor to interview his brain, much like how if Trump says NO COLLUSION, then there’s no reason for Robert Mueller to interview him.
It’s a shame since, ever since Michael Wolff’s very mean book came out, the White House has been taking every opportunity to prove the president is not mentally ill and does not have dementia.
So we may NEVER KNOW whether the president’s brain is functioning correctly.
LOL just kidding, we just checked Trump’s Twitter and we’re pretty sure dude’s lost his fuckin’ marbles.
Dolly here (That is unless you're one of the 30% of Americans who worship at the Trump altar)
Last edited by DollyLongstaff (1/13/2018 9:18 am)
Back with a vengeance possums!
- •
Thread Starter- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
All of the above attributed to my idol wonkette, Only the tense has been changed.
Back with a vengeance possums!
- •
Thread Starter- Teachesk
- Member
Offline
- From: Pacifica California
- Registered: 8/09/2015
- Posts: 593
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Trump gets to choose what the dr can release...it’s alive is probably all that can be said.
"The best candy shop a child can be left alone in, is the library"
Maya Angelou
- teluog
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/12/2015
- Posts: 3,791
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Teachesk wrote:
Trump gets to choose what the dr can release...it’s alive is probably all that can be said.
- petsterriers
- Member
Offline
- From: vancouver island
- Registered: 8/13/2015
- Posts: 404
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Trump gets to choose what the dr can release...it’s alive is probably all that can be said.
- Cleanspoons
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 1/10/2018
- Posts: 3,324
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Trump gets to choose what the dr can release...it’s alive is probably all that can be said.
The "official" report released to the public spelled the Dr.'s name incorrectly. It stated that Trump was in excellent health. Rachel Maddow's commentary about this is insightful and most likely spot on.
- Cleanspoons
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 1/10/2018
- Posts: 3,324
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Trump gets to choose what the dr can release...it’s alive is probably all that can be said.
The "official" report released to the public spelled the Dr.'s name incorrectly. It stated that Trump was in excellent health. Rachel Maddow's commentary about this is insightful and most likely spot on.
- DollyLongstaff
- Member
Offline
- Registered: 8/10/2015
- Posts: 5,899
Re: Trump Gets His Shithole Examined
Thanks for the info. When it comes to truth, Trump and Rachel? I'll stick with Rachel.
Back with a vengeance possums!
- •
Thread Starter