IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READ: We will heel you
We will save your sole....We will even dye for you
A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:"Blind man driving.
In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."  
On a Septic Tank Truck:Yesterday's Meals on Wheels 
At an Optometrist's Office:"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed." 
On another Plumber's truck:"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." 
On an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts" 
At a Dry Cleaner:"Drop your pants here"
In a Non-smoking Area:"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action." 
On a Maternity Room door:"Push! Push! Push!" 
At a Car Dealership:"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." 
Outside a Muffler Shop:"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" 
At the Electric Company:"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."
In a Restaurant window:"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up." 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:"Drive carefully. We'll wait." 
At a Propane Filling Station:"Thank Heaven for little grills." 
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:"Best place in town to take a leak." 
And the best one for last!Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"