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[*]Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
[*]I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
[*]I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
[*]My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
[*]I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
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